It's been two days now since our son and his girlfriend moved out, and one day since I turned 45. So far, so good. Had an amazing dinner out with my hubby and well, it was just nice to be Us. :)
Felt really weird today though buying so little at the grocery store. Actually skipped an entire aisle, and saved about $100! We have plans to meet with 'the kids' on Wed. (they don't work that night) to have a bday/Mother's day get together - should be nice but maybe a little weird? Have to see. I think it's a good thing I'm going away soon and will be too too busy to miss them too much.
Trying hard to avoid going in to the university these days. This time between regular session and summer session the place feels like a ghost town. Do have to take care of last details for the field course I'm doing. A week today I'm in Venice! I'm quite nervous actually about running this first week of the first cultural landscapes field course - ever. So much could go wrong; and I'm sooo detail oriented. Just have to remember to relax and enjoy and roll with it as things unfold. Basically be more Italian than Canadian :) Thank God I had the foresight to travel a couple of days ahead. I should be acclimated by then. Hopefully the weather improves. The current 5-day forecast is rain, rain, rain, rain, and more rain. Yippee. I mean yes, there is a lot of water in Venice. I would prefer however that it not all be falling on our heads :(
So here's to the next adventure, soggy as it may be.
Showing posts with label empty-nest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empty-nest. Show all posts
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
If I'm suffering from empty-nest syndrome/mid-life - why do I feel so good?
In exactly one week my son and girlfriend are moving out of our house, and I turn 45. According to most of my family and many of my colleagues and friends - apparently I should be a puddle of emotion and hormones.
But I'm not - at least not in the way they expect. Is there something wrong with me? Am I a heartless, terrible mother because I'm actually happy my son is moving on to the next stage? Isn't moving out, healthy and sober (there were some dark times when he was 16 and 17) in a good relationship, gainfully employed, making plans for the future - isn't that what we want them to be doing? Hell, we even all get along really well!! If I'm weepy next week it will be tears of happiness running down my face because there was a time we weren't sure we'd be here - because we didn't know where he was or what he was doing - other than something scary bad. I hear about other so-called 'helicopter parents' and think "what is wrong with you people?" Have some faith in your kids. Recognize there comes a time you have to, if not let go, loosen the grip!
On top of this - I keep getting comments - even a card from my own dad!- that expect that I am having a tough time turning 45. Yeah. Middle Age. Well you know I always liked studying about the Middle Ages so maybe I'll take up Gregorian Chanting to mark the event. But seriously - is everyone else really that age-obsessed? Do you need to remind me of my own mortality to make yourself feel better?? I just don't get it. I feel more myself now, more clear on who I am and what I'm not than I ever have. I don't take crap, I don't stifle myself, I do all I can to keep positive. Negative Nellies - so long. Oh I should understand you and listen to you because you are related to me? Sorry - don't have the time or energy to wallow in the negativity with you. Ciao. Call me when you want to do something good and positive.
Not that I'm some vibrating, glowing ball of positive energy. Far from it. I get overwhelmed and exhausted on an all too regular basis. But I refuse to let that win. Sometimes I have to literally talk myself up and out, however I try very hard to be gentle with myself about those times. Try.
So - fellow bloggers/bloggees - Am I missing something? Am I some sort of anomaly? Or have I hit upon another one of those cultural narratives that says that these transition points are something women should fear and be saddened by, rather than celebrate?
But I'm not - at least not in the way they expect. Is there something wrong with me? Am I a heartless, terrible mother because I'm actually happy my son is moving on to the next stage? Isn't moving out, healthy and sober (there were some dark times when he was 16 and 17) in a good relationship, gainfully employed, making plans for the future - isn't that what we want them to be doing? Hell, we even all get along really well!! If I'm weepy next week it will be tears of happiness running down my face because there was a time we weren't sure we'd be here - because we didn't know where he was or what he was doing - other than something scary bad. I hear about other so-called 'helicopter parents' and think "what is wrong with you people?" Have some faith in your kids. Recognize there comes a time you have to, if not let go, loosen the grip!
On top of this - I keep getting comments - even a card from my own dad!- that expect that I am having a tough time turning 45. Yeah. Middle Age. Well you know I always liked studying about the Middle Ages so maybe I'll take up Gregorian Chanting to mark the event. But seriously - is everyone else really that age-obsessed? Do you need to remind me of my own mortality to make yourself feel better?? I just don't get it. I feel more myself now, more clear on who I am and what I'm not than I ever have. I don't take crap, I don't stifle myself, I do all I can to keep positive. Negative Nellies - so long. Oh I should understand you and listen to you because you are related to me? Sorry - don't have the time or energy to wallow in the negativity with you. Ciao. Call me when you want to do something good and positive.
Not that I'm some vibrating, glowing ball of positive energy. Far from it. I get overwhelmed and exhausted on an all too regular basis. But I refuse to let that win. Sometimes I have to literally talk myself up and out, however I try very hard to be gentle with myself about those times. Try.
So - fellow bloggers/bloggees - Am I missing something? Am I some sort of anomaly? Or have I hit upon another one of those cultural narratives that says that these transition points are something women should fear and be saddened by, rather than celebrate?
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