It must be November...

Ahh November...one of the crazy times in academe. I'm never bothered much by start of term - September seems full of energy and well, I've had chunks of August to prepare in a relaxed mode. Not so now. The administrative machine needs to be fed before the end of the fall term, so meetings are filling up the calendar; meetings for which preparation is required. Grad student research proposal defenses need chairing, and I can't really say 'no' to all of them, can I? Exam scripts need to be reviewed and submitted (and I never learned the trick of keeping the exams identical year after year, and don't intend to). And, oh gawd, there is winter term to think of! Never seem to have the same sense of organization as we move into the second term; rush and panic --- do I need AV booked? Do I want to use texts in the seminar classes? Or will I go with readings again? Oh crap - need to review and update the readings...but when? Add in a dash of journal article reviews and a pinch of reacting to comments on my own publication submissions, not to mention the events in my College...

All of this is happening at the same time as I'm well - exhausted. I think I've been fighting something - my throat/voice has been sore/hoarse a lot more this term than usual. I really ought to have stock in Ricola and Fishermen's Friend lozenges. Lecturing every day has been harder on my voice than I remember from years past, for reasons unknown. Looking forward to that aspect of winter term seminar courses - generally I talk far less, and when I do it is in a regular speaking voice, not projecting to the back of a lecture theatre. Whew. I'd love to know what others who lecture a lot do to rest/take care of their voices. Suggestions?

The thing that is really niggling at me - well there are 2 really. The first is ongoing and increasing problems with my left hip. I thought getting the weight down would help (and in some ways I'm sure it has - yippee 30 lbs less than when I started this 'get healthy' effort in late July!), but the increased exercise seems to be aggravating it. The problem is - I was diagnosed with scoliosis at 14 during a public health screening at my school (this was a 'thing' in Ontario at the time). My parents did not follow up with our doctor because of some weird thing my mother has with public health - apparently they are quacks according to her. Anyway - the result is that my left hip is lower than the right, which sets up all sorts of weird things in the joint. Not enough to notice when you see me standing there, but enough to, at age 45, cause me at times significant pain and discomfort. It used to be the hip flexors and tendons would get tight and sore or my knee would be aggravated, and I could exercise, walk and use chiropractic treatments to get things pain-free again. Not so now - now I think there is arthritis in the hip joint. This has been disrupting my sleep and well - I'm not much good to anyone when I'm overtired. While it can be ok during the day, things tighten up at night (and in the cold - yippee and I live in Winterpeg) and then - oweee. So I'm off to the doctor's next week to start down whatever road needs travelling to address this...'cause clearly it's not going to magically go away. Gawd getting older truly sucks.

The other thing - now this is work related, and my ongoing struggle to not tear a strip off a certain 'leader' (I use the term very, very loosely). The latest? Well let's just say I keep hearing "If it weren't for bad decisions, there'd be no decisions at all..." in my head, sung to that tune from the old HeeHaw show where they sing about bad luck in a lovely over-the-top country twang. (Google it, those too young or not Canadian enough quite to know this reference :) ). I just can't fathom how you can so NOT do your job. I can completely understand feeling and being overwhelmed, not knowing exactly what you should be doing, but then I would ASK for help, guidance, and well, take lots of notes! At the very very least I would confer with my colleagues on a regular basis because after all, it's there department I'd be trying to make sure works properly. Sigh.... it sure would be nice to care a bit less but then that is apparently not who I am.

Well this has now turned into a small novel, and I'm sure that there will be a Part Duh! to the last paragraph next week...so I will stop. But please! -- if you have any advice on how to deal with co-workers that make your head spin like something out of the Exorcist PLEASE pass it on!

Perspective

Yesterday I attended a memorial service. Thankfully not something I have had to do a lot, yet, in my life. This was, however, a particularly memorable event for more than its rarity. I was there to say goodbye to a colleague and mentor who was one of the few threads that tie my life as a student in Ontario to my life in Manitoba as a professor. But that is really not the important thing here. This was a woman of rare humanity and skill as a researcher, scholar and mentor; and yet was so much more. Here was a woman to look up to, someone to be like when "I grow up" because of the obvious passion with which she led her life. It seems so utterly unfair that this is the person who is diagnosed with cancer and then is gone in 4 months.

I'm going to be processing this for awhile, but I think the message I took from her wonderful eulogy is that if you want to do it, DO IT. If you care about people, animals, food and the world at large - love them all you can, share the bounties of your life, and let the people in your life know how special they are. Do it all, and do it now. You may not get a better time. Do good work, do it with conviction and passion, but remember that your work is not your life...ok a piece of it but not all of it.

Truthfully, I think the quote used in the eulogy from Hunter S. Thompson sums up where my thoughts are today:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke [glass of Pinot Grigio in hand!], thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!’”

Back at it...

Fall has arrived with a thud, and I'm back in the routine of teaching classes. Not too much that is challenging in teaching first and second year, but I like it. A couple of other small projects, and an invited article that isn't due to Feb. Feel pretty much in control and there have only been a few meetings requiring my presence. This afternoon I have a first - invited to a 'think tank' for design and architecture - they seem to think a geographer might have some interesting and useful info/perspectives on space, place and interiors. If I feel a tool I'll plead a headache and leave early, but it could be quite interesting...and I get dinner. Hopefully it is something I can eat, given my new healthy eating/weight loss regime.

Good news here. Feeling healthier and have dropped 20lbs now. What a difference. Still a ways to go to get to a truly healthy weight, but this is a big step in that direction. Hopeful that I will reach my goal of another 5-10 lbs lighter by the holidays, and another 20 by our trip to Florida in Feb. I think I can do it, sticking to the patterns of exercise and healthy eating (and portions) I have embarked upon.

Gotta just keep moving...

Fall Beckons

The weather has turned cool, and I swear I heard a Canada goose yesterday. Fall is here. And even if the weather hadn't changed, the university where I work is populated again. You'd think I'd get used to it after all these years, but the sudden appearance of students and faculty always seems a shock after the quiet of the summer. Classes don't start until Thursday, but the Orientation groups are marching around, and students are scurrying around trying to find rooms. Three different groups of students asked me for directions today - one particularly anxious student walked right into my office (I'm near a stairwell) breathless and lost. Students don't read the signs to see that if they turn one way, all they will get to are offices, not classrooms. Apparently wayfinding is a lost art.

I'm feeling pretty good about the new term. Got a new iMac so I have a LOVELY new computer that is fast and just well - cool! Rearranged and cleaned the office too - much much better. Fresh start, fresh look. Teaching first and second year courses that I've taught lots before - tweaking and updating but should be an easy term when it comes to teaching. A couple of projects on the go, but nothing huge at the moment. Going to enjoy and get some writing done - a book review and an article I've been thinking about for awhile.


The healthy living program is going well. Making sure I do something every day - WiiFit or exercise bike - more walking - or like this weekend - gardening and moving books (lots) up to the new home office. Still looking for shelves, but soon... Have now lost about 17 lbs and working on making 20 lbs or better gone by the end of the month. Getting used to lots of fruit, veg and fish. Feeling SO MUCH more energized. The ticket is I have to do something when I get up, when I feel most motivated.

Good news on the book front - my book that came out in July - well according to amazon.ca, yesterday there was only 1 copy left with the promise of more on the way!! So that means they are selling!! woohoo!! Wow - I might actually get a royalty cheque! YES! This is the best sort of affirmation.


So - have to just keep on keeping on, keep working, keep moving. So - I'm off for a walk.
See ya around the neighbourhood.

Celebrating Some Success

Things are actually coming together, or at least it seems like it. This could just be just the calm before the storm however - in 2 weeks we are back in session and I'm back in the classroom. The calendar is already filling up. Planning meetings, committee meetings, meetings with graduate students...oh and somewhere in there some class prep!

But I have managed to write and submit (just yesterday - still basking in the glow!) a journal article and it is pretty darn good if I do say so. This winds up a project with a colleague that has been a load of fun and has opened up enticing new areas for me in what I have come to call 'family geographies' (Now available from Oxford University Press via Amazon!) :D  Time to update the CV with another publication 'under review'. Next step - the draft chapter on feminist geography for a book on cultural geography that I'm contributing to a colleague's book. This has been a long, delayed and painful project. I don't think I would do this again. It just has been like having wisdom teeth pulled without the happy knock out drugs. It's true - sometimes what sounds like an interesting opportunity should be left as just that - and not another project to take on. Still have to finish a book I said I'd review for my discipline's flagship journal by October some time, and there is another article due in Feb - an invited one with a colleague in religion. Very cool project looking at how we in N. America relate to bears and specifically the story of the memorializing of a 'zoo celebrity bear' at our local zoo here. Debbie was famous for being the oldest polar bear in captivity and was something of a local celebrity. 400+ people came to a memorial service for her in the dead of a Manitoba winter and marked her passing, outside! So its not like I don't still have lots and lots to do - but for a change I actually feel like it will all be accomplished - Keep Calm and Carry On!

I think part of this good feeling is that things are swimming along on the personal front. As of today I have officially lost 10lbs. Well - I didn't 'lose' it - I have returned my fat to the universe, thanks very much but I don't want it/need it anymore. Thirty more to go. My goal is to lose this before our Feb 2011 holiday in Florida. By Christmas would be brilliant but I want to be realistic. I know I will hit a plateau or two along the way and I have to not lose my resolve. Found a brand of veggie chips and one of guacamole flavoured taco chips that allow me to indulge a craving for 130-150 cal and so not be wracked with futility. Mostly I have to watch the emotional eating and KEEP MOVING. Which reminds me I still need to get on the exercise bike today...

The other good news is the Son has solved his housing situation and does not need to move back home! He and some friends found a house to rent, and he is actively looking for a better job than slinging subs at 2am. Ok so he needs $$ for the rent for the first month but heck, getting used to being Parent Bank of Canada. At least we are in a position to assist. I owe the gods and goddesses on this one.

So - time to get cracking on some things - tomorrow I start work on organizing my first year course for the new term and getting the course outline done. Today I'm devoting 3-4 hours to the book chapter, and then its a trip to Michaels for scrapbooking pages I think. But first - to the bike!

You gotta start somewhere...

Can this really work for me?

So, I've been feeling like a slug since, well, halfway through Italy. A stiff, hip creaking, footsore slug. Gee, untreated scoliosis does eventually catch up to you. Sigh.

About 15 months ago, in the last days of what we now call 'the sketchy period' in my almost 19 year old's life (otherwise known as 18+ months of hell), I stopped going to pilates, and stopped using the WiiFit I begged my husband for. Begged. I just didn't have the energy, the willpower. I wanted to just relax and enjoy myself once the kid was getting residential rehab. Problem was, between the stress and the 'I deserve this' attitude, I've gained about 12 lbs. And I was a good 20-25 lbs overweight before. But I was at least in better shape before.


So much inertia ... but I have to get moving and make time to do the exercisery things I, well if not enjoy, at least like. The kid is healthy and living his life and is figuring things out as all kids his age need to do. So what excuse do I have? Why do I crave the junk so much, and avoid exercise like the plague...oh yeah I hate to feel sweaty...hmmm

But today - I finally had enough. I weigh more now than I ever have. I don't expect at 45 to be in the shape I was 20 years ago... but this weight has got to come down for health reasons alone.
So - I have a year before I take on a new administrative job at my university. One year to lose 40 lbs and get healthier and feel more energetic. I can do this. I've done it before (ok years ago when my metabolism worked better, but still...). I eat pretty well already (healthy, low fat etc). I just have to KEEP MOVING!
Started today getting back on the WiiFit. Did my 30 minutes (31 actually) of yoga and aerobics. Focused on abs, thighs and hips as these are my problem spots. Feels really really good. If I can do this every morning before my shower I'm golden...I feel energized and it will make me drag my sorry ass out of bed. If I couple this with a bike ride in the evening for even 20 minutes...

I have to do this. Now. I have to stop wishing and start doing. I think I should make this quote from Eat, Pray, Love my new mantra: "Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone should be".


Wish me luck. And no cravings for Cheese Puffs. Sigh.

A case of the summer blahs

I know, I know - isn't it supposed to be 'winter blahs'? Maybe, but for me it is summer blahs. Too much heat, too much unstructured time. Don't get me wrong - I have lots to do but either it's big stuff I can't seem to muster the energy to do (painting, furniture buying, massive gardening...) or it is well...work. Reading and writing and unfortunately it feels like the Muses have taken July off. Or at least mine have.

What to do to jump start the energy levels? August looms with all its 'get ready for September' and multiple family birthday craziness, as well as a trip to Vegas with the Dear Husband. I HAVE to get some work done in the next few weeks but I look at the calendar and just sigh...with a side helping of panic.

What I really want to do is go back to bed...gah! I'm turning into a slug! A giant west coast banana slug. Oh but wait! Just learned that the official mascot of UC, Santa Cruz is ... the banana slug!! There may be some inspiration here...